I was home yesterday because of this crazy weather we're supposed to be getting: up to an inch of ice, snow, wind, and then lose power for days at a time. So far, the trees are covered in a thin/beautiful layer of ice but I haven't been outside to check the ground. The worst of it is supposed to be today. Anyway, I was home yesterday and I just felt... normal. Great. I wasn't tired. I wasn't sick. Not once at any point. I just had energy to keep going all day long. Yes, I worked so it's not like I was unpacking boxes and doing active things all day, but I did unpack boxes and do laundry and play with Henry and make dinner all after working a full day. I didn't even realize what a change from normal that was until 8:30 when I started getting ready for bed and noticed that I wasn't tired. Then I got to thinking about it and realized what an AMAZING day I had! I've got to tell you, if I have days like that, I'm going to be able to do this. Monday was so bad that I was beginning to wonder if I could. It's been so long since I've felt well that I was... well, I just wasn't sure I'd be strong enough to make it through another 32 weeks. But yesterday. Yesterday! I'm hoping it's just a preview of the good things to come. I'm back to not feeling particularly well today, though it's still nothing like Monday. Monday was so bad that I wasn't sure I'd make it home from work. Henry didn't get a nap that day and played really hard at Aunt Amy's house, so he was an exhausted disaster and literally SCREAMED from the time I tried to strap him into his car seat until about 15 minutes after I put him down. He didn't eat dinner. Wouldn't read a story. I didn't even try to give him a bath or brush his teeth. I felt so tired and nauseous and had such a headache that I basically put him to bed and then fell into bed myself. As I was laying there, I came close to crying wondering what I'd do if this is what the next 32 weeks would be like. How could I go on? And then, I got the beautiful gift of yesterday. As if just to show me that it's not always going to be like this. I really needed it. It's funny because I would have thought that I'd be more confident about how things were likely to go after having been pregnant once before, but I wasn't ever this sick with Henry so I was just starting to worry that it would never end. I super hope it does. My friend, Simi, told me that she never really got badly sick, just felt like she had a constant hangover for the entire 9 months. Since I haven't thrown up once, I was thinking maybe that's what I was experiencing, but if that was the case, I don't think I'd have it in me to make it through. But again, then I got yesterday. It's funny how, after you've been so sick for awhile that you kind of forget what it feels like to be well. I'd forgotten what it was like to want to make dinner. Or have the energy to unpack a box that I didn't FORCE myself to unpack. Or to do laundry without feeling like crying. I simply cannot wait for more days like that. Cannot wait.
You know, come to think of it, Holly told me that when she lets herself get too tired, her symptoms were way way worse. I was absolutely exhausted on Monday so I went to be at like 7:30 and then, because of the weather, I didn't have to go in so I got to sleep until 8:30. So maybe Monday happened because I got too tired and then Tuesday happened because I got so much sleep. I would like to figure out the formula to make Tuesdays happen more frequently and to avoid Mondays all together. We'll see if I can figure it out. Oh, also, I ate an entire box of cookies and 1/2 a pork loin. Ha! One of the downsides of feeling better may be that I gain WAY more weight than I'm supposed to. But I was just so hungry!! :)
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