7 weeks, 1 day - Snow day: take 3

We haven't been home since the close!  The wild crazy snow storm that hit and shut down the city left enough ice to make it dangerous for us to venture back up north still!  All over 3 inches of snow.  So crazy.  But we're all safe and warm.  Amy and her kids came over to grandma and grandpa's house yesterday (where we're staying) and went sledding/played in the snow then spent the night.  That was fun.  Big cousin sleep over.  I got some great sleep and am feeling pretty awesome, actually.  A little distressed about losing two days of packing but not sick and not overly tired.  So that's good news.  Baby Posterity is being kind, it appears.  7 weeks and very minimal morning sickness thus far and, in fact, I'm still not positive what I've been having even IS morning sickness.  That makes me a little nervous.  It makes me wonder if maybe there's something wrong so I still wish I was going to the doctor before 2/17, but otherwise, no complaints.  Maybe my mom was right; she said that this time would be really good for me because there wouldn't be anything to do EXCEPT rest.  I told her that I wasn't sure about that because I'm just not as comfortable and relaxed as I would be at my own house.  But then again, if I was at my own house, I'd be getting up early to go to work (instead of sleeping until 8 and going down stairs to work... so luxurious) and staying up late packing.  Or maybe I wouldn't.  Who knows?  Regardless, I'm not questioning it and just embracing the good feeling.

Oh!  Also, our site manager sent us the awesomest pic of our house while we were closing.  We'll probably use it as our Christmas card next year.

7 weeks, 0 days - Closing time!

Well, we're officially home owners!  Sort of.  A midst the excitement of our close, Atlanta got hit with a snow storm.  Three inches of snow fell which would be nothing in PA or DC, but here, it caused enormous issues.  It took Andrew 5.5 hours to get home from work.  Kids got stranded at school.  The local folks I work with on my project weren't able to make it home last night.  My friend, Kevin, said that he left yesterday at 1:45 pm and still hadn't made it home as of 8 am this morning.  All I can think is how fortunate we are that we closed yesterday and neither of us got stuck in that mess.  Our minor annoyance is that the bank was closed by the time we closed so the mortgage money hasn't changed hands yet.  So I'm not sure if we're officially home owners or not yet.  But whatever.  It feels like we are.

Ooh!  I took pictures of the kites in Henry's room:

Again, not what I was hoping for but they're fine.  And if anyone makes fun, I can say that I wanted them to look like a kid did them.

As far as baby news goes, there's not much to report.  I've been keeping track of spotting and since I started doing that, it hasn't happened much again.  So that's good.

6 weeks, 6 days - Worry wart

I called the doctor yesterday because I've decided that I'm officially nervous about the spotting.  The triage nurse I spoke with told me that it's unlikely to be an ectopic pregnancy because I'm not having extreme pain, but told me to pay attention for that.  She said generally, they'd be worried about hcg levels or progesterone based on my particular symptoms, but she said progesterone usually becomes an issue earlier in pregnancy than now.  She told me that they don't want to do an ultrasound at this point because there's just not much to see for another couple of weeks and that it freaks out many women to see an embryo without a heartbeat.  She doesn't want to do that to me, so she said I could come in to have those levels tested.  I asked her what that would do and she said that they'd have me come in then come again 48 hours later to confirm that my hcg levels are increasing as expected.  I really really don't want to do that, so I told her I'd just keep a log of my spotting, that maybe it's not happening as frequently as I think it is, and that I'd reevaluate after that.

So that's where I'm at.  I wish I hadn't looked it up online.  Such a terrible idea.   I really don't want to have to go to the doctor twice in 48 hours just to have levels tested that won't really tell them that much.  But we'll see.  I'll monitor the spotting and see what's going on then make a decision from there.  I wish I could stop worrying.

6 weeks, 5 days - Over do it? Boy, it's been over done...

We went to the new house this weekend to paint Henry's room before we move in.  As you may or may not recall, we're closing on the house tomorrow so I wanted to make sure Henry's room is as ready as it can be before we get there.  His fan is up and I spent Saturday painting the walls "gentle sky" blue.

It's a nice color and looks great on his walls.  I also painted a mural of a couple of kites but stupidly forgot to take a picture, so I'll have to do that tomorrow when we're there for closing.  Those look ok.  Matt said they look great, but I think he was just being nice.  They're not awful but they're also not what I was hoping for.  I wanted them to look awesome and professional but they look like Henry's mommy went in and painted a couple of kites on the wall.  Which is what happened but not what I wanted it to look like.  Oh well.  No one else knows what was in my head so I can just pretend that's what I wanted the entire time.  

I also ordered some grass decals to go along the boarder on the floor.  I think they'll look great.  

There are a lot of flowers in the grass, but I'm thinking that might make it a good cross over in order to use this room for Posterity if she turns out to be a girl.  In the mean time, I feel like, yes there are a lot of flowers in the grass, but I don't think it will look too too much like a little girl's room with the blue walls and the kites in the sky.  I just want it to look neutral, not like a boy's or girl's room.  We'll see.  Again, nobody knows what I'm gunning for, so I can just pretend it's what I planned the whole time.  And if I hate it, well, then we take down the decals and go for something else.  Most of them are just so expensive and these were so affordable.  We'll see.  And, frankly, if I'm so inclined, I can cut off a bunch of the flowers at the top if I feel like they're too flowery.  We'll just have to wait and see what they look like.

Anyway, after all the work on Saturday and Sunday, I was done.  Like totally, tapped out, finished.  I felt TERRIBLE.  Like I had the flu or something.  My tummy was bad but not nauseous bad, just sick bad.  My muscles ached and I was just so tired that I could hardly stand up.  I don't have the flu so all I can think is that I way way way over did on Sat and Sunday.  I need to be a lot more careful because I got way way way too sick after that.  My goodness.  Lesson.  Learned.

So, I don't know if I'm having symptoms or not.  I haven't had any nausea or anything.  I've been tired and I get worn out pretty quickly.  I seem to get winded pretty easily.  I'm just not sure if those are symptoms or just me being out of shape and lazy.  I just don't know.  Obviously, I'm not celebrating the lack of morning sickness yet as I'm not even 7 weeks along but I am a little surprised that there hasn't been anything.  Surprised and worried, I guess.  I'm still having very regular spotting.  I've read that's common in early pregnancy but that coupled with not having any symptoms makes me wonder if maybe there's not really anything growing in there.  I wish I didn't have to wait 3 more weeks for the doctor's appointment.  Three weeks from today.  Blerg.  It seems like forever.  We'll be busy between now and then so hopefully it will go quickly, but I'm really really looking forward to that ultrasound, just for peace of mind.

6 weeks, 3 days - Belly pic and comparison

So I'm being a little dishonest by posting this today.  I took it when I was 6 weeks and 3 days along but I didn't make a post until today so I'm posting for the past.  Anyway, like with last time, I'm a little disappointed by what I look like when I'm starting but it's good to have a pic of what I'm starting from.  I'm wearing pants with a wide waistband which is what the weird texture is at the bottom but I think my waist is thicker than it started out last time.  Gross.  How can it be thicker than last time?  I'm nearly 10 lbs lighter than I was last time.  Ugh.  Bodies.

Not a great coparison because I"m not wearing the same clothes (that shirt is packed away right now) and I'm facing different directions and the new one is much closer up but now that I compare them side by side, it looks like I"m starting from about the same place.  I'll be interested to see how the rest goes, as I've heard "things move into place faster" the second time around.  We'll see.  

6 weeks, 0 days - Sweet peas, lentils, and historic comparisons

According to Lillypie (the ticker I use to track Baby Posterity's development), Baby P is the size of a sweet pea.  According to Baby Center, it's a lentil.  They're about the same, so I'm not fussing about the difference.  I can't find the great comparisons I used with Henry where they showed a pic of the fruit next to a quarter so that you could really see what that meant.  I don't know if Baby Center changed it or if I'm just useless now, but either way, I just can't find it.

I went back to Henry's blog and saw that I posted a 6 week, 0 day belly pic so I'll be doing that tonight so we can start the comparisons.  I read the week 6 postings and saw that I got sick right at 6 weeks.  I mean, not really sick because I never threw up or anything and I never got sick enough to do anything about it other than eat crackers in the morning.  So today, as I hit 6 weeks, is it the placebo effect because I'm expecting to feel sick or do I really?  It's not nausea.  But my tummy is off.  Queasy.  Not car sick queasy.  More like spicy food queasy.  And we did eat vindaloo last night.  I think it probably has more to do with that than anything else.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not wishing to be sick.  But I am a little nervous because I don't have any symptoms.  I haven't even been extra tired for the past few days.  I wish we could speed up the first few weeks so that we could go straight to early ultrasound.  I liked being pregnant with Henry.  I felt special and cool and I loved that strangers smiled at me in the store.  I didn't mind the period after I got that early ultrasound up until he was born.  So I'm not saying I want to rush through my pregnancy.  I just want to rush through the part where I'm terrified that Baby's heart didn't start beating or that Baby didn't grow or that something didn't go right and Baby won't be born.  I realize that things can happen after that ultrasound, but if we could just get there, I'd feel so very much better.  3.5 weeks.  Those weeks should fly by because we'll be moving in that period but still.  Ugh.  I hate waiting.

I'll post the belly pic tonight.

5 weeks, 6 days - A revelation

As I was laying in bed last night, not feeling well but unable to put my finger on what was wrong, I remembered that it was the two year anniversary of both my dad's funeral and Angel Baby's due date.  I don't remember when the miscarriage actually occurred, so I remember Angel Baby on the day she was due which, coincidentally was also the day of my dad's funeral.  He passed away on the 16th but since the 20th coincided with another sad day, for some reason, I think of them both more on the 20th.  And I knew that.  But for some reason, I didn't put two and two together to realize that's likely why I was feeling so off.  Not sick or anything, just not well.  I bet it was sadness.  That makes so much more sense.

Our close was pushed back to Tuesday, 1/28.  I was talking to my mom yesterday about what kind of trees we'd plant in the yard.  One of the very first things we'll do -- once the season and weather are right -- is plant a tree for my dad and my Angel Baby.  I think that might give me the closure and peace I need to let them both go.  I still get so very very sad when I think about them.  I see so much of my dad in Henry and it makes me smile, but at the same time, it makes me so sad that they never got to meet or know each other.  I think he'd really have liked my dear, sweet boy.  If baby Posterity turns out to be a boy, we'll name him Frederick.  And call him that, too.  We've tossed lots of girl names around, but we haven't landed anywhere definitively yet.  We have plenty of time.  I still like Delilah, but I've cooled to her a bit.  I have warmed to Genevieve and calling her either Viv or Eve.  We didn't consider it before with Henry because I have a cousin Genny, but I also have two cousins named James, two uncles named James, a great uncle, a great grandfather, and I think, some second cousins by that name, so if they could all use the same name, why can't we?  But again, we'll see.  Plenty of time.  Belly pic tomorrow.

5 weeks, 5 days - Not feeling so hot

There is nothing wrong with me.  I'm not nauseous.  I don't have a headache.  My back doesn't hurt and I'm not grumpy.  I just don't feel good. Yes, I'm unusually tired but man, I just plain don't feel good.  Baby?  Maybe. Blerg.  Nana was here this weekend visiting with Henry while Matt and I packed but I didn't get nearly as much stuff done as I'd hoped because I got tired so quickly and I just haven't been feeling well.  It's hard to describe, though.  Nothing that I can pinpoint or attribute not feeling well.  Just not good.  Maybe I overdid it with the packing.  Who knows.

Had a super great visit with Nana.  We visited the new house.  Close was pushed back from 1/24 to the following week because the landscaper won't be finished on Friday.  Boo.  I'm very disappointed but there's not much to do.  In any case, the house looks beautiful.  Nana thought so, too.  Henry seemed to think it was pretty neat.  Posterity?  Well, we're not sure where we're going to put you, yet.  We'll just have to see how the whole house shakes out.  We had it planned out for one baby but now that there's a second on the way, it's going to take some rethinking.  Not that there's a space issue or anything.  We just hadn't planned on a second baby bedroom quite so quickly.  I wonder what we'll do...

Anyway, can't wait to move into the new digs!  They're super sweet!  We'll be having a house warming in the spring some time so I hope everyone is able to make it so we can show off the fruits of our years and years of responsible saving.  And penny pinching.  And thankless frugality.  It's all paying off here.  House be gorgeous, yo.

Hooray!!

5 weeks, 2 days - Dr. Appt. Scheduled!

I was looking through my calender the other day and realized that I had an annual scheduled for 2/3.  I'll  be 8 weeks on 2/5, so I figured it didn't make a lot of sense to have the annual and then a pregnancy assessment a couple of days later, so I called to cancel the annual and schedule a pregnancy exam.  We're on for 2/17 at 11 am.  We'll do an ultrasound then be seen by my doc right after.  At that point, we'll be 9 weeks and 5 days along.  Crazy.  I'm nervous every time I think about it.  It's funny because before I got pregnant, every single month I felt pregnant.  Now that I am, I sometimes wonder if the test was wrong because I don't.  At all.  It's still super early, I know, but I'm not emotional any more, I'm no more tired than usual, and... well, nothing else.  I know it's early for most of the symptoms to show up, but it still feels weird.

I'm also thinking of switching doctors.  I want to continue going to this one -- Dr. Lawson -- because my doc in Arlington recommended her.  I guess they were really good friends in med school and she told me that I'd LOVE her, just love her.  And I think she's lovely but I haven't seen her much because, frankly, unless you have a problem, how often do you really see your gynecologist?  Her practice is nearly an hour away from where our new house will be but more than that, she's part of a very large practice.  I think there are 7 different doctors in it.  That means I'll only see this one doctor that my old doc just knows I'll love like 2-3 times during my pregnancy.  They cycle you through all the docs in the practice so that the one who is on call when you go into labor has a relationship with you already.  My point in this is, if I have to build a relationship with a bunch of new doctors, why not do it closer to home?  My docs in Arlington took me nearly an hour to get to but that was because of traffic.  It should have only taken me 20.  This one should take me an hour without traffic and, since they're in Buckhead, there's sure to be traffic all hours of the day.  So I guess I'll go to this appointment and then ask her if she has any recommendations on doctors south of the perimeter.  I think I'll print out a list of folks my insurance accepts and see if she has anything to say about any of them.  That's how we ended up with our pediatrician in Arlington and we liked him pretty well.  He was no Dr. Matthews but we liked him.

Speaking of, we should probably ask Dr. Matthews if she has any recommendations on folks south of the perimeter.  Henry's 18 month well baby visit is on 2/13 or 2/14 and it's going to be a pain to drive all the way back up here for those types of things.  Moving is so annoying.

5 weeks, 0 days - Baby Apple Seed and Spotting...

According to the charts, Baby P is the size of an apple seed and her heart is going to start beating this week!  Crazy.  1/4 inch long and already has mouth and limb buds.  It's really amazing how fast things happen in baby land.

I had some light pink spotting yesterday along with some mild cramping.  I'm not worried because I understand spotting is very common throughout pregnancy, especially in the first trimester, but it was still... I don't know.  After Angel Baby, I think I'm going to be forever anxious until I get a good ultrasound.  I haven't called the doctor yet because they won't see me much before 8 weeks.  I'll do it soon, though.  I was poking around online and noticed that women of advanced maternal age (aka 35 and older) are considered high risk and frequently need to see a perinatal OB as well as their normal OB.   I'm not crazy about that.  I wonder if my doctor will consider me high risk.  Yes, I'm 35 but I'm in pretty good health and I had a really easy pregnancy last time so maybe not?  I don't really know what to hope for, to be honest.  I mean, I don't want to go to the doctor every other week, but if it means more ultrasounds, then I'd get to see Posterity a bit more often.  I think it's different with every doctor/practice, but in Arlington, we did an 8 week ultrasound, maybe a 13 week ultrasound, a 20 week one, then something again really late.  Maybe 36 weeks.  Then we also did the one on the day they decided to induce me, but I don't count that one as much because I didn't get pics from it.  Maybe I'm miscounting. I don't know.  But I have a friend who had her first babe at 35 and they were doing ultrasounds once a month.  That might be nice.  We'll see.

I'm also considering changing doctors.  The one I'm seeing here is nice and fine and was recommended by the doc in Arlington that I LOVED.  But she's pretty close to where I live now.  Once we move (NEXT WEEK!!!!), she's going to be over an hour away from me.  Now, the practice I went to in VA was nearly an hour away with rush hour traffic, but I'm not sure I want to do that again.  Especially because I like this lady but I dont' know her much.  I've only seen her a total of 3 times (postpardum, annual, fertility checkups).  I'm thinking of asking her if she knows anyone OTP south (that's outside the perimiter, for your non-ATLiens), but I haven't decided yet.  I'm one who is pretty dedicated to my doctors.  We'll see.

Anyway, still feeling good!  No complaints thus far.  Tired, yes, but again, I'm not sure it's any more tired than I usually am.  And I'm not feeling grumpy anymore.  I have a bunch of friends who had more trouble with their second pregnancy than their first so I'm a little nervous about what's going to happen around 7-8 weeks with morning sickness, but we'll just take things one day at a time and see where we land.  Hopefully, Baby P will be just as easy on mommy as Baby H was.  Hooray!!  I still can't believe I'm pregnant!!  I'm trying to ignore it and forget about it because otherwise, I think about it all day long.  And that makes the days absolutely creep by.

4 weeks, 6 days - A Warmed Up Uterus

First off, I just want to say that this is very very difficult for me to talk about or even admit to myself.  It made me feel like a terrible, defective failure, so this post is not being shared with anyone but a very few people.  I'm writing it so that my future little Posterity knows what we went through and how much hard we tried and how much I wanted him/her.  But very very few people know and this post was never published for the world to see.

Since we started having kids a bit later than some, we wanted to have them relatively close together.  As such, we decided to start trying again as soon as possible after Henry was born.  Try we did but month after month, we weren't having success.  After awhile, I decided to start charting my cycles to figure out what was going on and where we were missing the mark.  At first, I thought I wasn't ovulating but as it turned out, I was ovulating but the time between when I ovulated and when I started my period wasn't long enough to sustain a pregnancy.  A normal luteal phase is 14 days but it MUST be at least 10 to sustain a pregnancy.  Mine was consistently 7-8 days.  Basically, we weren't getting pregnant because I was infertile.  I was crushed.  I started taking all sorts of vitamins to extend my luteal phase but nothing worked, so I booked an appointment with my normal Western medicine doctor and one with a Chinese medicine doctor.  Nobody was going to say I went down without a fight. The Chinese medicine practitioner was able to fit me in almost immediately, so I went to her for an evaluation.  She asked me what was wrong and why I was there.  I told her that I was having headaches and stress and that we were having trouble getting pregnant.  She looked at my tongue and asked me some questions about tummy aches and my menstrual cycle and how warm or cold my hands and feet were.  After a few minutes of reviewing my answers to the questions she asked and those I answered on a questionnaire, she told me that I had a cold uterus and that was the root of my problems.  She went on to explain that it's a relatively common problem for Western women and that we needed to get the blood flowing back to my uterus, that it would ultimately help with digestion and my headaches.  I was skeptical but had gone there for a reason so I let her stick pins in my head and tummy and face and hands and legs and feet.  After she inserted the needles, she put a heat lamp over my tummy and my legs and told me to take a nap, that we really needed the hemispheres to open and that they do it best when you're most relaxed, aka asleep.

After she came back to get me, I asked her how long it would take to before I saw results.  She said that usually, they say acupuncture takes 3-6 months of weekly sessions before you'll see results but with my particular issues, she expected results in 6 weeks to two months.  So, I booked weekly sessions and tried to keep an open mind.That first appointment was one of the nicest doctor's appointments I've ever been to;  I got a warm nap and a nice conversation.  Once I got to work, I looked up "cold uterus" online.  Interestingly enough, luteal phase defects are associated with cold uteruses... uteri... I don't actually know the plural of uterus.  Weird.

Meanwhile, I went to see my OB/GYN.  I told her that I had a luteal phase defect and that I was getting acupuncture.  She said that was fine, ordered some blood tests for me and then gave me a prescription for progesterone.  She told me that I needed to figure out when I ovulated, wait 5 days, then start taking the pills.  After 14 days, I was to take a pregnancy test.  If it was negative, I was to continue taking the pills for 3 more days and test again.   If it was still negative, I was to stop taking them and my period would start.  If it was positive, I was to continue taking them through the first trimester.  I got the prescription filled but then kind of freaked out because I wasn't really sure that I was ovulating.  I mean, I thought I was.  But what if I wasn't?  So I got one of those little tests to be sure.  The directions say that the test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line, otherwise you haven't ovulated.  Well, mine never got as dark as the control line.  So I figured I must not have ovulated that month.  Or did I?  Maybe my hormone levels never get high enough to show up.  I mean, how would I really know?  And if I take the progesterone and haven't ovulated, then I could keep myself from ovulating.  So I didn't take it and watched for my period to start to see if maybe I could figure out if I'd ovulated based on when my period started.  I made some assumptions, but of course, I had no idea.

The next month, the same thing happened and I decided again not to take the pills because I just wasn't sure.  Again, I watched for my period but this time... it didn't come.  Day 7 rolled around and it wasn't there.  And it didn't come on day 8, either.  Or day 9 or day 10.  On day 11, I got a headache and a lower back ache... just like I do before I get my period usually.  And then it came. Almost 6 weeks to the day after I started acupuncture, my luteal phase had gone from 7-8 days to a non-defective TWELVE!  I couldn't believe it.  Could my uterus be warming up?  The next month, I wanted to see if it was a fluke so I didn't take the progesterone again.  And sure enough, old Aunt Flo came a full 12 days after I thought I might have ovulated (stupid prediction kit)!!

Which leads us to today.  At first, I thought my luteal phase must have corrected to the normal 14 days.  Then I thought maybe it was just extended to 16 days or something because 14 is just an average.  If it could be 7 days, then why couldn't it be 16?  On day 17, I started to wonder if maybe, just MAYBE there was something else afoot.  After all, I had been super tired.  But I always am.  And super grumpy.  But Matt and Stevie would say I always am.  And really, bizarrely cold.  But it had been really cold outside.  But I was REALLY cold.  Shivering while I was in a sweatshirt, sweatpants and knee socks, while under my blankets and a heated blanket.  I was THAT cold.  That's not a symptom of pregnancy, it's just a symptom of being weird, but it really was weird.  Anyway, hooray!  Thank you, acupuncture!  You've made a believer out of me.  Sheri noted that the luteal phase extension could have just been a normal progression due to time, that maybe my body was just readjusting after pregnancy, but I feel like it's an awfully odd coincidence.  Either way, if I end up with morning sickness with this one, I assure you that the first person I call will be my Chinese Medicine practitioner.  Totally natural, tried and true over thousands of years.  No drugs.  No suffering.  Why wouldn't someone do it?

So, little Posterity has a nice, warm uterus to snuggle up in.  Stay warm in there, little dude.  It's been cold out here.

4 weeks, 5 days - Yes Plus!

Coming this September to a hospital near (or not so near in some cases) you!  That's right folks, you're reading that test correctly!  As of last night at 7 pm, we found out that Henry is going to be a big brother!  Wahoo!!  So, maybe while we were in Gatlinburg, I shouldn't have spent an hour in the hot tub or drank quite so much wine.  But it surely explains why I've been so tired and grumpy lately!  Hooray, hooray, hooray!  I haven't called the doctor or scheduled any appointments or anything but based on when my last period was, we should be looking at 9/17/2014 as a due date.  That's obviously subject to change based on our doctor appointments, but I wouldn't expect it to change much since I believe they base it off of your last menstrual cycle.

We're not going to tell anyone at all until after we have our first early ultrasound (around 8 weeks, if my experiences in Arlington were any indication), so this is a chronicle that may not actually get read but I want to keep it for posterity, so that we always remember this journey.

With Henry, I started a blog to keep Matt, my family, and Matt's family updated on what was going on.  The purpose of the blog morphed, however, as my pregnancy progressed and ultimately became a record of my first few months with Henry Theodore Pieper Rehbein.  I printed it out into a book for him that he can look back on if he ever wonders what his mama's pregnancy was like.  I'd like to do that again, for both my family and Matt's family far away, but also for this teeny poppy seed of a baby.  Maybe we'll call her Poppy.  Or just Posterity.  Henry went from Bump to Lump to... I can't even remember now.  But since this blog is being recorded for posterity, it kind of makes sense that I refer to her as Posterity.  Ha!

Anyway, as with Henry, we won't find out the gender.  We both really liked finding out when he was born, so we'll do that again.  As such, please don't read into gender pronouns used throughout, as I'll likely flip back and forth, depending on the day.

Hooray hooray hooray!!