33 weeks, 1 day - Dr. Appointment and ultrasound

What weird things 3d ultrasounds are.  Really.  Check it:

Look at the schnozz on this child!  Matt kept reminding me that Henry had a big nose when he was born, too but my goodness!  It's so weird to see that much detail.  Baby's hand was up near his/her face so it was hard to get a good shot but the ultrasound tech was so awesome and kept trying until she got something we could use.  I'm not exactly sure how I liked seeing the 3d stuff because it's so weird.  The ultrasound tech kept asking if we noticed any resemblance between this baby and Henry.  I was trying to tell if there's a dimple in his/her bottom lip like Matt and Henry both have, but I wasn't able to tell.  The pics are mostly just so monstrous, freakish and weird that the idea that it could look like my sweet beautiful boy alarms me.  I'm much more comfortable with the sweet 2d profile pic below: 

Anyway, baby is little but not worrisomely so.  It's measuring in the 35th percentile and since Henry was in like the 3rd when he was born, the doctor thought this was just fine.  She said that my fluid was perfect at this point, though again, with Henry, it was fine when we got the 38 week ultrasound and was too low two weeks later so that doesn't mean too too much at this point.  Other than there's nothing to worry about, which really means a lot.  And I gained a full two pounds since my last appointment which is exactly what she wanted so she was happy with that and said she's no longer worried about my weight gain.  Hooray!  I'm now up a full 20 lbs from where I started so if I can continue on with about a pound a week through to the end, I'll be right on target.  Perfect.  :D  Heart rate was a strong 132 and the best part... we got to see the baby yawn!  Or do something like yawning.  I don't actually know if babies in utero actually yawn or not but boy, is this video cool...

Or would be if it would actually load.  I thought it was up there but Aunt Allie pointed out that it didn't load.  I wonder why.  Annoying.  I'll keep trying but rest assured, it's very cool.

I wish I could crop it like I do with photos but I don't know how to do that so you'll be stuck with this once I get it up.  Again, the ultrasound tech was so awesome and, not only caught it for us, but backed it up so we could get good video of it.  So what you'll see is the tail end of the yawn then her backing it up to catch it again.  So very very cool.  Next dr. appointment in two weeks then we're on to weekly after that.  So crazy that we're so far along!!

31 weeks, 5 days - I heart Edith

My roommate from college, Elizabeth, visited this weekend.  It was indescribably wonderful.  Aside from how much I love and miss her, she's just so real and down to earth and knows so many people who have gone through so many things that, no matter what it is I'm thinking or feeling or worrying about or experiencing, she makes me feel like I'm not alone.  She's just amazing.  With my newest worry about weight gain and my little belly, she told me about her experiences with her third baby, Anna.  Apparently, Anna had IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) and was induced as soon as she was full term.  She was a teeny tiny 5lbs 4 oz and had some very early troubles, but she's growing and developing and is doing great.  IUGR is, apparently, a syndrome where the the baby isn't growing and developing as big as expected on the inside and, frequently will do better on the outside.  Anyway, aside from having a healthy baby, Edith was able to explain to me the types of things my doc may be thinking/looking for, what her experience with it was, and remind me that her baby was totally fine even though she had this problem that made her high risk.  After all, she said, that's why we go to doctors so that we can be monitored and make sure any problems are taken care of.  If everyone had perfect pregnancies and births, we wouldn't need to go to doctors at all.  It's just so great to talk to her.  Good point, Eedie.  So, it's probably not IUGR with me, but even if it is, I have someone to talk to if I have any questions.  And that's awfully nice.

Aside from that greatness, she helped me feel real and grounded again.  I had been feeling very lost and wispy, like I didn't know who I was anymore.  I moved to Atlanta for my family but left most of myself behind on the trek.  There wasn't really anything for me down here and I've been feeling like I just... don't know who I am anymore.  Everything I thought and liked and believed and stood for, just kind of got pushed to the side and I've been... I don't know.  Just sad and lonely and feeling... not real.  She brought me back.  Just being with her reminded me of who I was and who I am, that I have friends who love me and just because they're not here, doesn't mean they're gone or that I'm lost and adrift in the world alone.  Matt's family is wonderful.  Absolutely wonderful.  I couldn't possibly wish for more wonderful in laws and they've never made me feel less than completely loved, respected, and welcome in their family.  But in the end, they're Matt's people.  And, while I have some great "Manda people" at work, they're all so far away that I don't see them outside of work.  So I just haven't yet built a foundation for myself and that's why, I think, I felt like I was floating.  There just hasn't been anything for me here; it's all been for Henry or Matt.  Eedie, on the other hand, was just for me.  She, of course, loved Henry and Matt but in the end, she's all mine.  It was just so wonderful to be with her and around her.  She reminded me of the person I am and who I used to be and of the things I love and the things I'm passionate about.  That even though I may not have seen some of my loved ones in a few years, doesn't mean they've given me up or don't love me anymore.  It doesn't mean that I'm all alone and adrift with nothing of my own to grasp on to.  I can't stress enough how wonderful it was to have her here.

If you read this, Eedie, thank you so much.  You mean more to me than I think you'll ever know and your visit just blew a burst of fresh air into a world that needed it.  Your timing just couldn't have been better.  Thank you.  xoxo

31 weeks, 1 day - Coconuts and watermelons...?

Coconuts and watermelons, eh?  As we know, Baby Center and Lilly Pie are not always in sync with their fruit comparisons but this one is maybe the most egregious that I've seen.  Coconuts are nowhere NEAR the size of watermelons.  Crazy fruit comparisons.  But, general consensus agrees that baby should be somewhere between 16 and 17 inches long and 3.5 to 4 lbs.  I've never seen a coconut that size myself, but whatever.  Oh, and also Lilly Pie says that Baby is supposed to be sleeping most of the time.  If that's true, then this child is a very violent sleeper and I worry for his/her future spouse.  It's been two years (almost exactly) since I was here with Henry but this one seems way more into judo chops and kung fu fighting than my sweet boy ever was.  Mostly with Henry, I felt movement and hiccups.  I'm getting punched and kicked with this little fighter.  Seems as if he/she has heard Aunt Amy mentioning how Henry doesn't take no crap from nobody and is practicing up to defend him/herself.  Wise move, little one.

Speaking of Aunt Amy, she told me today that I have the perfect "from behind" pregnancy figure, that you can't tell at all I'm pregnant from behind and then when I turn, surprise!  That was much nicer than the "your face looks fatter and you've got bags under your eyes" comment I got the other day.  Good ole Aunt Amy.  At least she's good for something. :)  Ha!  That also supports my recent notion that we're having a boy.  The old wives think that you gain all over with girls but that it's mostly belly with boys.  I feel like I've gained all over but most other people don't.  I feel like my hips and thighs have gotten HUGE.  But it's nice that people are being kind enough not to mention that.

I really didn't have much to say today but I wanted to get another picture in here for the printed book when I get that far.  Here's what baby center thinks you should look like this week, Little One:

Sure looks like a real, live baby!  Oh, and remember how I said earlier that I had so many friends who were pregnant at the same time as me and now, it's down to just a few of us?  My friend Kevin's daughter is being induced today so there's another one off the list.  It's been fun to keep up with him about it because she had her first baby a couple of months after we had Henry and we're having our second a couple of months after she has this one.  And they didn't find out the gender and aren't sharing their name options, so it'll be a big, fun surprise.  After she has hers, it's just down to Dave's nephew Jake whose baby is due in August and Derek's baby who is due a few days before ours.  So wild!  So many babies!  

31 weeks, 0 days - A kind of disappointing dr. appointment

Saw the doc today.  Looks like my belly is officially measuring small.  She said I've been pretty consistent and that it is for sure growing, it's just a little smaller than expected for this point in time so they want to do an ultrasound before my next appointment.  While I love getting ultrasounds and seeing Baby, it makes me a little nervous and sad that things aren't going perfectly.  I mean, I think it's really just out of an abundance of caution that she's ordered the ultrasound, but she wants to check my fluid levels and the size of the baby.  I suspect that this might have also happened with Henry, but nobody shared their concerns with me so I had no reason to know that anyone was worried.  I feel like Dr. Elliot "protected" me from any worry with Henry.  He was such a nice man.  Anyway, Dr. Lawson said that, so long as everything is fine with this ultrasound, we'll just schedule another one at about 37 weeks to check my fluid levels and then go on from there.  So that's where we are.  Heart rate was "140s."  Not sure what that means unless it just kind of goes up and down a bit.  That's higher than it was at the last appointment, but I was kind of nervous after she told me about the ultrasound so maybe that made baby's heart race?  I don't know.  I have gained weight, but not as much as I thought I did.  Just over a pound.  But I'm gaining again so that's good news.  She told me to continue packing in the protein and that I should be fine.  I just get nervous when things aren't going perfectly.  But again, I didn't gain much weight and I measured small with Henry, too, and he's just perfect now.  So maybe my body just grows little tiny, healthy babies.  I hope so.

30 weeks, 6 days - "Yup, definitely fatter..."

I got "spotted" again today.  One of the lovely admins here at work stopped me to ask if I was pregnant.  She's so sweet and dear and gentle.  I told her that I was surprised that she didn't notice sooner because I'm 7 months and she seemed genuinely shocked.  She just had a new grandson a few weeks ago.  Anyway, she told me that she wondered when I came in this morning because my face looks fuller and I look so very tired.  Not a word about the camel hump protruding from my mid section.  I mean, honestly, I know it's not as big as some people get but it's for sure there.  Amy pointed it out this morning and noted surprise about how much bigger it looks on some days than others (today being one of the big days).  So I just can't believe Janice didn't mention my belly.  Or maybe she's just being gentle and kind, figuring it's better to point out my fat face and the bags under my eyes than risk calling me fat...?  I don't know.  Very interesting.

I'm tired today.  She was right about that.  Very, very tired.  Kind of feeling nauseous.  Really glad Matt is working the day shift so he can pick up Henry boy tonight.

30 weeks, 5 days - On to new baby nexting... er... neSting...

Finally.  Seriously.  FINALLY.  We finished Henry's room.  We put together his big boy bed and moved into his room on Sunday.  He slept there last night without too much trouble.  He'd been sleeping on a mattress on the floor since we switched rooms, but I really wanted to get his actual bed in there so that I could wash my hands of the room and move on to prepping the nursery for new baby.  And we're there.  the bed itself turned out pretty nice.  As a reminder, we sanded down and painted some of the furniture Matt and Andrew used when they were kids.  They look good.  The bed Henry is in is actually a bunk bed.  We put the headboard and foot board on upside down because, while doing it right side up would lower the bed a little, Matt was worried that the head board would be lower and make it easier for Henry to roll off an end.  In the end, it didn't end up mattering much because we moved his bed from a diagonal up against the wall because we were worried he'd flip over the back of the headboard since it's just not very high.  It's not much more than dead even with the mattress and Henry has gotten used to kind of diving into it so we wanted to make sure he was safe.  But it looks super cute.  And he seems to LOVE it.  The bed itself is up pretty high, so high, in fact, that he couldn't get into it.  But I showed him that the foot board could double as a ladder and as soon as he  realized that, he had no more problems.  Really.  I showed him once and it was all over.  What a cutie.  He just seems so excited to have that big bed that he can get in an out of.  It's really adorable.

And now, onto getting newborn clothes and diapers ready for baby #2!  There's a lot of stuff we need to do, from cleaning the master bedroom and setting up the bassinet to finding our smallest size diapers and setting up a changing table downstairs (read: pack n play).  Around Henry's birthday, we'll turn his car seat face forward (omg!!!!!) and install the infant carseat in the middle so that we're ready to bring new baby home when he/she comes.  On Henry's birthday, we'll be 34.5 weeks along so it'll be good timing, I think if we do it the weekend after or there abouts.  I wonder how he'll feel about it.  I hope he doesn't start hitting new baby, since he'll be able to reach him/her.  Very interested to see how that goes.

Matt had the realization this morning about how far along we are.  I had so many friends who were pregnant at the same time I was and now, there are only a few folks left.  Most of them had their babies already.  That made everything more real to him.  I think probably the same 'realness' I experienced when we hit 30 weeks.  That just seemed like such a huge, real, super far along milestone.  Anyway.

In other news, the protein packing continues to work.  I weighed myself this morning and I'm up almost exactly 2 lbs from where I was 2 weeks ago.  They want me gaining about 1 lb/ week, so it seems like I'm back on track.  So that's good.  Of course, now that things are going right, I feel fat again but that's because I'm stupid.  Can't ever be pleased.  :)

In other other news, I just threw up at my desk.  Lovely.  I was going to dash for the bathroom but didn't think I'd make it so I picked up the garbage can.  I sit in a cube.  I wonder how many people noticed.  Gross.  I wonder what it was.  My vitamins?  But I ate before I took them.  Hmm... weird.  Feel better now, though.

30 weeks, 2 days - belly pic!

It's so bizarre, the difference between how I feel I look and what comes across in pictures.  Generally speaking, I hate having pictures taken because I think I'm far more attractive than I must really be.  Each time I see a pic of myself, I get sad and angry and depressed about the reality of what I must really look like to the world.  But then, there's these belly pics.  I feel like I'm HUGE.  Absolutely enormous.  It hurts to bend over sometimes.  And then I take belly pics and see that it's really just kind of not that big.  I put together the 30 week comparison from Henry and the bumps look nearly identical.  It's weird.  It looks like I carried Henry a little lower and this baby higher, so this bump looks rounder.  But it's really weird how close to the same size they seem.  I never felt very big with Henry and I feel just absolutely enormous with this one.

As usual, in the below pic, Henry's bump is on the left side.  I still can't believe we're 30 weeks along.  So bizarre.  That's still 2 months until our due date, but it just feels so far along at this point!  Man, I still remember that exciting Yes + we got on our pregnancy test.  Can't believe there's going to be a baby in just a couple of months!

30 weeks, 1 day - So tired

Throughout this pregnancy, my major complaint has been about how tired I am.  It never seems to get better, no matter how much I sleep.  I didn't remember being so tired with Henry but as I've read more about absolute exhaustion, I've been seeing anemia as one of the causes.  I don't actually have anemia. BUT I do remember Dr. Lashgari telling me to take a double dose of my iron supplement when I was pregnant with Henry.  I remember looking for a CVS while we were in Tampa at Stephen and Brittney's wedding because I'd forgotten my iron supplements and we were worried about how tired I would get.  So, it seems as if I was very tired with Henry, too.  That makes me feel so much better.  I was starting to worry that there's something seriously wrong with me because I'm just SO very tired.  I'm working from home right now and had to lie down because it was just too exhausting to stay in the chair.  I don't remember feeling that way with Henry, but I must have felt at least some of it, otherwise, I wouldn't have said anything to Dr. Lashgari.  Add in the toddler, never being able to sleep past 7 am, the super long commute to and from work, and the constant stress of feeling like I'm not doing enough at home... well, that seems like a pretty good recipe for exhaustion.  Exhaustion beyond what I felt with Henry.  It hasn't much affected my temper, though I do find myself crying about nothing lately.  Could be hormones, could be exhaustion.  Either way, I feel a whole lot better knowing that it was kind of like this with Henry boy.

Man, this baby is going CRAZY right now.  I'm at the point where I can see these absolutely freaky and crazy movements across my belly when I'm laying down.  Something pointy frequently sticks up around my belly button.  An elbow?  A knee?  I feel a foot in my ribs pretty frequently and, while uncomfortable, it's not as annoying as it was when Henry did it.  My belly button hasn't popped out but I'm starting to wonder if it might actually happen with this baby (it never did with Henry).  According to BabyCenter, Babe is about 3 lbs and 15.7 inches long (about the size of a large cabbage).  Henry was something like 19.75 inches and 6.1 lbs when he was born.  So if those estimates are right, this baby isn't much smaller than our boy was when we met him.  That's pretty wild.

Oh!  And I gained a pound since last week!  I weighed myself yesterday and I'm up actually 1.2 lbs since last week.  Seems as if the protein packing is working!  Hooray!  As of last week, I'd gained 17 lbs so if I keep gaining a pound for the rest of the pregnancy, I should be in pretty good shape.  Dr. Bennett said she wanted me to be at the higher range of the weight gain, but I think at this point, just hitting 25 lbs will be a good goal.  Who'd have ever thought I'd have to work to gain weight?  Goodness.  Not really a problem that has been a part of my life to this point.  :)  Sure would be awesome if, after I had the baby, I got super thin and just had to start eating a lot of ice cream to make sure I didn't get too skinny.  Ha!  A girl can dream, right?

And, for the record, I do feel a lot better when I'm laying down.  Since I laid down a few minutes ago, I'm feeling pretty normal again.  Maybe I'll throw in a load of laundry and then lay back down and see if that gets me through the day: chore, lay down and work, chore, lay down and work... that wouldn't be so bad.  Grandma has Henry so I don't need to get up unless I want to so this might be a good day for me to relax before another one of our crazy weekends.

29 weeks, 6 days - 4th of July visitors

Maybe I'm making up milestones but I really feel like 30 weeks is a big one.  Why?  I don't know.  But it feels like it is or at least should be.  I can't believe that we're 30 weeks along as of tomorrow.  Baby is super active and I've pretty much decided that you're a boy.  For no reason other than the heart rate thing, but I convinced myself of it kind of subconsciously but very effectively.  So effectively, in fact, that I told Aunt Stevie this weekend that next time I saw her, she'd have another nephew.  She reminded me that you could be a girl.  I was a little startled by that because I'd just kind of forgotten that we didn't find out your gender.  I had myself really convinced, you see.  How weird.  You're super super active these days.  And you've been getting the hiccups a lot.  Not as much as Henry did, but regularly enough that I can feel them.  I just can't believe that we're down to 10 weeks or so as of tomorrow.  So wild.

In other news, Nana, Aunt Stevie, and Uncle Eric visited this past weekend.  Nana brought along her friend, Pat, and we all had a very nice time.  We went to a baseball game and to some nice restaurants and fried a turkey at Grandma's & Grandpa's house.  We got to see lots of fireworks over the lake that night, too.  Aunt Amy took lots of pictures so you'll be able to look back and remember your first deep fried turkey.  Ha!  It was a really nice weekend, though it wore me out in a big big way.  Having company is lovely but having your family over is a little different than having someone not in your family there.  If that makes any sense.  I'm just so very tired now.  I'm trying to eat lots of protein but it's making my tummy hurt so much that I don't want to eat again for the rest of the day, so I'm not sure how effective this is at helping me gain weight.  We'll see.  I'll weigh myself tomorrow and see if it's been working.

29 weeks, 0 days - AP is GD free! and Belly pic!

Wa-hoo!  Just got back from the doctor's office where I had my blood sugar taken.  It came out to be 86, so I'm cleared on gestational diabetes!  Woo-hoo!  Now that I'm past 28 weeks, I'm cycling through the various doctors in the practice so today, I saw Dr. Bennettt.  I liked her.  She looked at my other two glucose tests and noted that they were very high (i.e. I failed BIG TIME), so while I'm clear on GD, she still recommended that I watch my carbs.  So basically, I'm back to where I was with Henry.  Though, not as strict, I think.  She asked if I had any concerns and I mentioned my weight to her because I'm still down from my last appointment.  She scoffed at first because it's not down by a lot but when I noted that this was supposed to be the period of "rapid weight gain," she did a bit of a double take and said, "oh.  Oh yeah.  You really need to eat more protein.  And I mean like a TON more."  She looked back a bit further and said I was gaining a lot earlier.  I laughed and told her that I was actually worried in the other direction before (that I was gaining too much).  I told her that this is kind of what happened with Henry, that I gained really fast up to a point then just kind of stopped.  Much like Holly told me, she said it was probably really good that I was gaining so much early on with this one because Henry was so small and that, to make sure this baby isn't teeny tiny as well, I need to eat a lot more protein, that I'm probably just not getting enough calories.  Weird.  So, I'm basically on the same diet as Nana: low carb, high protein.  When I told Aunt Stevie, she figured it meant that we have to go to Fogo de Chao while they're here this weekend (instead of the Local 3 brunch that we'd planned).  Ha!  That would certainly get me some extra protein.  I guess we'll play it by ear.  We do like Fogo de Chao and it's kind of nice to have a reason to have to go there.  :)  Ha!

Oh!  Also, Holly had her baby yesterday.  Simon Ray Hofkamp.  8.5 lbs.  She didn't tell us how long he was.  26 hours of natural labor.  Way to go, Holls!  I liked hearing the 26 hour thing after Megan's story of SUPER fast labor because yesterday, I heard the story of a coworker who delivered her second baby 17 minutes after getting to the hospital.  That makes me a little less confident that we're going to make it from Newnan to Buckhead to deliver our little nugget.  Below, I've posted a snapshot of the drive from chez nous to my preferred hospital.  It's a haul.  So we'll see.  There's one in Newnan and a few more in Atlanta that we'll pass before getting to mine, so if it's an emergency, we can stop off somewhere else.  But my goodness, I hope it doesn't come to that!

But now, the moment you've all been waiting for... the belly pic!  It's nothing that exciting.  It's rounder than I was at this point with Henry.  It kind of looks like I'm carrying this baby higher than I did Henry.  Oh!  That reminds me!  Baby's heart rate is 130 so it continues to drop.  High sitting baby with a heart rate under 140?  Sounds like a boy to this mommy!  At least according to old wives tales, that is.  Which I secretly kind of believe.  So now I think I'm having a boy.    

I didn't actually take a 29 week pic with Henry, but I did a 28/29 week compare and that's what's posted below.  I did take a 30 week pic with Henry, so next week's pic will be a better comparison.  I'll try to wear the same thing, too, so we can have a more accurate measure.  It kind of looks like I'm smaller now than I was with Henry, doesn't it?  Weird.  Maybe it's just the way I'm standing.  

Someone told me today that I'm going to pop soon.  I assured her that I'd already popped but that I just don't "pop" with that much of a flourish.  Our bodies are so interesting.  I keep thinking of my Aunt telling me that Grandma Marcia was full term with Lisa and people didn't even know she was pregnant.  That's pretty wild.  But it makes my little belly make so much more sense.  Nobody ever believes me when I tell them how far along I am.  I assure them that it's just the clothes that I'm wearing, that I really do look much more pregnant when I'm wearing different clothes, but they never believe me.  It's all just so very interesting how differently our bodies react to things.