Derek (and his wife) had their baby yesterday evening. At home. They did a home birth. Eew! But it went great and they had a little girl and everyone looks happy and healthy. Zero part of me wants to do a home birth, but Derek posted a picture of his wife sleeping in their bed with the new baby and I did get a little pang of wistfulness, thinking how much more comfortable that looked than a hospital bed. But c'est la vie. I'm not comfortable with the idea of a home birth. Anyway, that leaves just us. Everyone else I knew who was pregnant and due around our time or before has already had their baby! I know of a few more due a month or more after us but we're the only ones left that I knew of in September or earlier. Crazy. Due date is tomorrow. Bizarre. I'm having lots of weird pains but nothing that I think is impending labor. Just baby squirming around and hitting nerves. Derek's due date was on Saturday and they delivered yesterday, so I guess two days after. If we went two days after, that would put us on Friday. If we're going late, I really would like that autumnal baby. So at this point, I guess I'm hoping for Sunday... but we'll take you whenever you come, little one.
Oh goodness. I've had absolutely the worst dreams the past two nights in a row. I dreamed that the baby was still born. Yesterday, I had a minor panic attack because I kept thinking that I couldn't feel baby moving so maybe my dream was coming true. But it wasn't. I laid down with a cold drink and sure enough, baby moved more than 10 times in about 10 minutes, let alone an hour. So all is fine. But I had the dream again last night and this time, it was even worse. I'd gone to the appointment alone so it was up to me to tell everyone. Including Matt. I woke up absolutely sobbing then I couldn't get control of myself and I couldn't go back to sleep. I was up from 12:30 until about 5:30 because I was too afraid to go back to sleep. It was just awful. Baby has been super super active so I know that it's just an over-active imagination but even so, it was just so scary and sad and terrible.
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